Self…have all the seats

My life has given me many seats. I have an extreme dislike of being dependant. Which is crazy Right? Here you are reading about someone who was sick on an off her whole life, made not so good choices as a young teen, eating disorder,depression,anxiety lived thru cancer and the medical that follows (sore body,diabetes,weight struggle). I have hated being co-dependant, which is a control issue, right? 

I’ve finally grown comfortable with that which makes me vulnerable. My migraines, my torn muscles, medical follow ups. Sometimes it’s even hard for me to get up after being down, because I have disappointed myself so badly. If you ask my husband how many times I’ve apologized, he would say “countless.” He is also the one that’s stood behind me,my self pity, and said “You always get back up.”

I’m getting up. I’m going to pursue nursing. Why now? I never really believed in myself until now. I never really believed I could. Which is crazy because my mom,the person whose believed in me the most, always was a hand reach away. She is my role model, and my son and his beautiful glow is my joy.

 

Not only am I grateful for the people who back me, I am okay with myself. I’m okay with knowing when I am weak and in need and knowing when I feel like I can take what come next. I’m grateful for growth, tears and the laughter that will come again. 

Faith- vulnerabilities & uncertainty = Extremism- Brene Brown 

To creating dreams,as long as you’re alive, do what you love. 

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